There was also the matter of meeting his friends and family. Tylan would say things like, “They’ll love you because I love you.” But I knew loving me would be more palatable if we were closer in age. Even 10 years older is much more acceptable than 19. You just don’t hear about couples being that far apart in years, especially when the older partner is a woman.
For the first year, we were successful at keeping our relationship quiet. There was a midnight skinny dip at the river, making out on a giant velour bean bag, and indoor camping with a tent made out of bedsheets. And then it happened one night, Tylan knelt on one knee and proposed. I was stunned and momentarily mute. It wasn’t until Tylan said, “Yes?” that I nodded my head and blubbered, “Yes!”
Tylan first proposed with a Ring Pop. I gave him one as well. Every few months, we would replace our engagement rings for new ones from Goodwill, a novelty shop and a metaphysical store just up the street. At this point, we were already living together, and co-workers were getting suspicious of our relationship. Especially with our jeweled fingers.
Eventually word got out, shocking everyone we knew. I had already told my son, who opposed it at first. When I would try to talk to him about it, he would dismiss me with, “I’m not ready, mom. This is too weird for me.”
It almost felt like I was confessing a sin, and yet, even with all the dark narratives I had swimming around in my head, it also felt right. I understood my son’s reservations, so I gave him time. It didn’t take long, though. Once he saw the joy in my eyes and heard the late-night laughter in the living room, he warmed to Tylan. I don’t think my son had ever seen me this content and alive with anyone else.
On our wedding day, he said, “Mom, I’m really happy for you. Tylan is a good guy. I approve.” To hear his validation took me back to those teaspoons of gold dust, but this time, the spoon was a soup ladle.
